Two Hearts Beat Together Forever!
Jimmy tried to live and to keep acting but he was knocked down by a disease that was killing people! He didn’t want me to get it. He stopped having a relationship with me. He withdrew from me, friends and family. He was emotionally alone.
I could have been with him to help him but he made a bad decision. He wanted not only to save me but he didn’t want me to see him coughing and hardly breathe. He was wasting away where he was so weak he could hardly stand. He was struggling to be what he was but he was deteriorating. Even though I wasn’t there, I can see him being so stubborn.
He was now in a hospital, because he couldn’t breathe. They had to put a breathing tube down his throat. Now, he realize this was the end. His mother and two sisters came down from Rochester. He couldn’t talk to them he could only write notes to reply to anyone who spoke to him.
His father and stepmother came to the hospital to visit him but his father was afraid to come near him, he thought he would catch it. His two brothers never came.
He wrote my name and phone number on a blue envelope and gave it to someone. They didn’t call me. Did he think I was afraid to come to him? I wasn’t there to take care of him. I wasn’t at his funeral. This was the man I loved. It is an open wound within my heart.
I had to do something special for us. So I wrote a book, “The Last Became The First”. Please read the book and understand why I loved him and still love him after 43 years. I am still yearning for my soul mate who gave me so much pleasure just by being himself.